He Makes All Things New...

I am excited to be blogging. For the time being, please excuse the weird, crappy background... I am of course new to this and have no idea how to design it yet. But I promise I will learn. I always tend to have quite a bit to say so here we go...

As this past December was moving along, I kept praying that God would make a change in my life and my family in a big way. In the past this has always been for me to get pregnant. My husband and I have not been too successful at that thus far. Having had one miscarriage this past June is the farthest we have came. Or really I guess I shouldn't say that. I know that God has a plan for all that I have been through with all the doctor appointments, ovulation strips, and negative pregnancy tests... This past month I started praying a different prayer. Just that God would make a change in my life and in my family. Period. I decided to leave off the getting pregnant, which was very hard for me to pray. I soon realized that as I prayed that prayer day after day, it became easier....

And then it happened. God made a change in my life and in my family in a huge way. Cory and I always thought we would adopt. I was just COMPLETELY against doing it now. I guess in a way I felt it was me giving up on having my own kiddo. But then God changed my heart COMPLETELY. I woke up really early one morning with nothing but adoption on my mind and heart. I felt that God was speaking to me, like He never had before. And that without a doubt we would be adopting....sooner than later....

I now know that there is a little girl in Russia waiting for her mommy to come and pick her up. I pray for her throughout my day. I think about what she is doing....I don't even know if she is born yet, actually. I can't wait to hold her and love on her....and sing to her the songs that my mom used to sing to me. I can't wait to see Cory with her. I have been beyond blessed by him being my husband and I can't imagine what a little girl would do to his heart strings!!! I feel that I was too caught up in all the selfish things of having a child to be open to considering adoption at this time in my life. You see, I work in the Newborn Nursery as a baby nurse. I help moms every day with their new little ones. And I think that it is completely normal for me to want to experience those things....but at the same time, I think I needed to recognize that all of that is not what having a child is about. Or at least it is not what it is ONLY about. I can't wait to see my little girl grow up and be a strong woman of God, and that doesn't matter if I give birth to her or not.

My family experienced loss in 2011. My sister passed away in April. And as if that wasn't enough, I had the miscarriage in June. I am looking forward to 2012. I am looking forward to the LIFE that will be created, whether it be a tiny little one growing on the inside, or the tiny little one growing on the other side of the world....and more importantly, growing in my heart. He makes all things new.....He can make the hearts of an entire family WHOLE that at one time were broken from loss and confusion. He can take the life of an orphan and make it NEW by waking up her soon-to-be mommy in the middle of the night and ROCKIN' HER WORLD!!!! All I can say is *He*Makes*All*Things*New*.....